we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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