He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
