Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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