Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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