best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
