Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
