dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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