Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am naked and annoyed.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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