So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
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