my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
