Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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