You just made me feel so damn special
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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