I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
