any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Come back. Shots need mouths.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
