The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
