I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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