just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
