My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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