Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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