Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
