If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
