He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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