Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
