I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
