walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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