Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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