haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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