youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
