I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
