Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
