Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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