youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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