why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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