I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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