I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
