sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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