i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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