thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
