Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
