just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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