woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize