doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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