sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
