Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
