We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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