Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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