I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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