i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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