I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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