found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
