also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
