It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
