So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
