OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
