i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
