threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
